Its now nearly 12.51 and no-body has heard from alan yet, were presuming he’s now in Hull, but that didn’t stop me from lying here in bed last night listening for any sound’s that may have been him trying to get into the house, I was hoping that he’d still be here somewhere in Manchester just waiting for the right time to come and say how sorry he was and ask for a 2nd chance, but he did’nt, so I now believe that he’s hitch-hiked to Hull and hooked up with his heroin buddies.

I still feel quite down about everything that’s gone on and wish there was more we could do, but it’s like very one says he won’t come off it until he’s either reached rock bottom or he decides he wants help, in the meantime we’ve just got to go on living our lives, still hoping that the heroin does’nt finally kill him

Just waiting for Mel to get back from Blackpool now so I won’t be in the house alone any longer, just want to hug her right now and hope that we can move on and stop thinking about what he’s done to our trust.

I’ve taken drugs on and off throughout my adult life but I knew when to stop, knew when my life was starting to spiral out of control, this is what Alan need to learn, that life doesn’t revolve around drugs or the next fix

Finally I just want to say thanks to the people who have read these past few posts and either left a comment or contacted me via email to offer the advice/support, right now I need both of those as I feel like shit, I feel like maybe I let him down someway, but I’ve been told that I’ve done nothing wrong, its he who’s let himself down…