When I was at school I never had an inkling that I would end up working in IT/Systems Support, but I’m so glad I did, its something I’ve discovered I’m fairly adept at, its become my calling so to speak, assisting those amongst the general population who own and use IT Equipment, but really don’t have a clue about how it works and why it work, who seem to think its just a magic box they turn on, type a few things into and magically their work appears on the their screen and out of the printer.

Some of these people actually went to University and have degrees in all manner of exciting fields, but ask them to figure out why the printers not working or their email attachment won’t open and they haven’t got a clue.

It was while researching an IT problem on Google (yes you can use google to find out what’s wrong with your computer, its how most of us IT/Systems Support people figure out whats wrong with your PC) that I came across this little gem of a list on how to get the most out of your IT Department

I’ve experienced a few of these myself, it’s comical beyond belief the requests/questions you get asked sometimes.

 

Getting the most from your I.T. department
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1.   When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
     buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, 
     dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art.  We don't have 
     a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse 
     of yours.

2.   Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages
     from here.

3.   When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee.  That
     way you won't be there when we need your password.  It's nothing for us to
     remember 300 screen saver passwords.

4.   When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping
     you from getting it.  We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail
     because your computer won't power on at all.

6.   When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it
     at once.  We're just testing.

7.   When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
     spill your guts right out.  We exist only to serve.

8.   Send urgent email all in uppercase.  The mail server picks it up and
     flags it as a rush delivery.

9.   When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support.  There's
     electronics in it.

10.  When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
     support.  We can fix your telephone line from here.

11.  When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
     computer support.  We're  collectors.

12.  When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. 
     person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of 
     the problem.  We love a puzzle.

13.  When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
     cartridges in them, argue.  We love a good argument.

14.  When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in
     a scathing tone of voice :  "And just how many weeks do you mean by
     shortly?".  That motivates us.

15.  When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
     Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

16.  When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
     all 68 printers in the company.  One of them is bound to work.

17.  Don't learn the proper name for anything technical.  We know exactly
     what you mean by "my thingy blew up".

18.  Don't use on-line help.  On-line help is for wimps.

19.  If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your
     dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it.  Mouse cables were
     designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.

20.  If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail
     upgrade.  Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin
     crumbs and nail clippings in them.

21.  When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes
     button as fast as you can.  Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't 
     be doing it, would you ?

22.  When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit
     uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. 
     We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

23.  Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about
     that computer crap".  We don't mind at all hearing our area of 
     professional expertise referred to as crap.

24.  When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call
     I.T. support.  Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task,
     and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a
     professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

25.  When you can't find someone in the government directory, call
     I.T. Support.

26.  When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call I.T.
     Support.  We love to hack.

27.  When something's the matter with your computer, ask your
     secretary to call the help desk.  We enjoy the challenge of having to
     deal with a third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.

28.  When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone
     as a mail attachment.  We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.

29.  Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller
     chunks.  Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the
     queue.

30.  When an I.T. person gets on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth
     of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief,
     you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?"  That's another one that
     cracks us up no end.

31.  When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company.
     People out in Birmingham like to keep abreast of what's going on.

32.  When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a
     Saturday, ask a computer question.  We do weekends.

33.  Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your
     own.  Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.

34.  When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the
     office, leave the documentation at home.  We'll find all the settings
     and drivers somewhere.

35.  In no way do we believe that end-users are ungrateful.  It hurts our 
     feelings that one could even think such a thing on the basis of the
     above statements.  In truth we wish to express our deepest gratitude 
     to the hundreds of wonderful end-users portrayed herein, without whom 
     none of this would have been remotely possible.

     We truly love you, end-users, you spice up our lives no end.