A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into ASDA with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.
The door greeter says, “Good morning and welcome to ASDA, nice children you’ve got there. Are they twins?”

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl:

“Of course they bloody aren’t! The oldest is nine and the youngest is
seven. Why the hell would you think they’re twins?….. Do you
really think they look alike, you dickhead?”

“Absolutely not,” replies the greeter, “I just can’t believe anyone would shag you twice!”