Today I was called into my MD’s office for a little meeting, just me and him, mmmm pay-rise maybe ? or how about a company car . . . no such luck ! instead I was informed that I sneezed to loudly, blew my nose to loudly, yawned to loudly and ate my crisps to loudly, apparently I’m disturbing the office with all my bodily function sounds and it has to cease immediately otherwise I might have to have counseling to deal with the matter.

The more and more I work for this company the more and more I think the worlds going mad or at least this little office is . . what next I wonder maybe I’m making to much noise with my Biro on paper or I’m breathing to loudly . . if there’s a god in heaven please let someone read my C.V. soon and give me a job elsewhere.